Mallrats (1995)
I absolutely love this movie. It is the smartest grouping of crude jokes the 90’s had to offer. Instantly I was hooked. Brodie’s story about his cousin Walt. The opening song, Social by Squirt Gun. Brandy telling T.S. what happened to Julie Dwyer. Rene breaking up with Brodie. It is a perfect intro to a movie, it gave me an awesome song, had me howling with laughter, and introduced all the main characters. I was never a huge fan of T.S. but I Loved Brodie. His intro is one of my favorites of any character. I was beyond excited to hear the recent news that Jason Lee will reprise the character in the upcoming “Jay and Silent Bob get Rebooted” which I can’t wait for. Another movie I watched for the first time when I was about 13 or 14 years old.
I find it hard to pick out any favorite moments as literally almost everything involving Brodie is absolute gold. Its probably sad that I feel like I can relate to him so well. Framing a break up letter, his argument over weather or not Clark Kent and Lois Lane could ever have a baby, and his adventure to the topless fortune teller have always been my favorite parts, shy of the scenes with Jay and Silent Bob and obviously the stink palm.
For all the crap the movie gets, which is a lot and a lot is well deserved, when push comes to shove its almost amazing at how well everything works. The main story follows two college students who just broke up with their girlfriends, one trying to win his girlfriend back while the other tried to forget and move past while slowly realizing how much he really loves her. We are treated to at least 3 side stories along the way that all play into the main story’s outcome.
The first of the side stories is that of Willum Black. A poor soul who only wants to see the picture in the magic eye. Played by one of my favorite actors of all time, Ethan Suplee. The poor guy just can’t catch a break. He’s packed a lunch and is ready to take the whole day to stare at the picture to see the sailboat that everyone else gets to see. I felt bad for him when all the different kids would walk up and see the sailboat. I’m glad he got his revenge on the jerk pretentious kid who called it a schooner by yelling at him “YOU KNOW WHAT!!? THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY!! OVER THERE, THAT’S JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!!” and the stupid kid cries. He is the un-sung hero.
Our second side story is that of Jay and Silent Bob. They’re like pot dealing angels who are trying their damndest to get their wings. This time their mission is to sabotage the gameshow stage in the name of true love to help re-unite T.S. with Brandy and Brodie with Rene. Their attempts are much like the efforts of Wile E. Coyote’s attempts to catch the dastardly Road Runner with a very similar disastrous result. They may not be able to tear down the stage but at least they were able to teach the Easter Bunny a not so well-deserved lesson. Although completely inept, they manage to save the day with a little help…
A little help from our third but smaller side story of Trish the Dish. A 15-year-old who, with the permission of her parents, is writing a book about the male sex drive in witch she sleeps with “a bunch of guys aged 14 to 30” and “videotapes all of it”. It is pretty fucked up but that is the point and how it ties into the main story.
So back to our not so dynamic duo of T.S. and Brodie. T.S. is a void of anything even slightly resembling entertaining so I won’t go into him too much, but Brodie has enough charisma to fill the void. Brodie has all the best lines, and most of the best moments. When the ending starts, and they crash the game show he is absolute GOLD. The exchange between all the “suitors” is priceless, and we get another story of cousin Walter.
I could watch this movie on repeat for at least a week. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I love it when movies give me a small glimpse to the characters future. It nailed the opening music and the closing shot of Jay and Silent Bob walking down the road with Suzanne (which we will talk about on another day), the greatest Stan Lee cameo of all time, Michael Rooker (Yondu) is amazing, and the kid on the elevator is a great metaphor of modern parenting. The movie really shows its age with the fact that everyone is shocked over anal.